LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!ヽ(^。^)ノ

[Edly 3]

JUST SHARE YOUR JOKES, AND LET OTHERS LOL HARD :rofl:

[Edly 3]

The government announced that if anyone has 5

children,his salary will be increased by 50 percent. A man

heard the news and decided to go and bring his son (the

one he had with his girlfriend) so they can add it to their

four kids. When he came back,he met only on. He then

asked,"where are the others?". His wife replied;

"you are not the only one who heard the news,their

fathers have come for them".

[Azebu 92]

So I was like, going home one day. And one then turned to be around. I was fear, darkness very. Then he come to me, and speak "Boleslava is kill". I cring. Never forget what happen after what. This was hello you too.

[Edly 3]

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.  Then

they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to

eat.  The owner became quite concerned and marched over and

told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

 

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders

and then exchanged sandwiches.

 

[Edly 3]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to

arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be

here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby

photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

 

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of

babies"

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

 

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the

couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is

fun too; you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we

try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different

angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"

"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in

and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" 

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

 

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their

mother was so difficult to work with"

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job

done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get

a good look"

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The

mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.

Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the

squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,

um......equipment?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we 

can get to work."

"Tripod?????"

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for

me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's

fainted!!"

[Edly 3]

So I was like, going home one day. And one then turned to be around. I was fear, darkness very. Then he come to me, and speak "Boleslava is kill". I cring. Never forget what happen after what. This was hello you too.

 

Humm... i dont get this :unknw:

[Lintex 0]

                  -(>_

                {  ~@~ }

                    / /  \ \

                             

[x 52]

One time 3 persons were talking about who are the best people in staying under water longer so the 1st said ******* stayed under water for 7 minutes the 2nd said ****** stayed 5 minutes the 3rd said ***** stayed for 3 days & he still didn't go out.

[Edly 3]

One time 3 persons were talking about who are the best people in staying under water longer so the 1st said ******* stayed under water for 7 minutes the 2nd said ****** stayed 5 minutes the 3rd said ***** stayed for 3 days & he still didn't go out.

 

Lol

[Edly 3]

Kid: “Dad, are you growing taller all the time?”

Father: “No, my child. Why do you ask?”

Kid: “Because the top of your head is poking up through

your hair.”

[Edly 3]

“What’s the matter with your wife? She looks all broken

up.”

“Ah! She got a terrible shock.”

“How was it?”

“She was assisting at a rummage sale at the church and

she dropped her new $500 phone and somebody sold it for $50.”

[Edly 3]

Loco: “I painted something for last year’s academy.”

Bob: “Was it hung?”

Loco: “Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it.”

Bob: “Congratulations! What was it?”

Loco: “A board saying, ‘Keep To The Left’.”

[Edly 3]

Well, don’t follow my footsteps… I run into walls.

[Edly 3]

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

 

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival

tomorrow.

P.S. Sure it's hot down here.

[Edly 3]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins:

“When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying

on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he

says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the

circumcision.”

[Dazz 2]

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor,

you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a

chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this

condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and

see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We

needed the eggs."

[Edly 3]

Recently i attended a special class for women on car maintenance, given each year by a local garage. The first lesson was on the parts of the internal combustion engine; the second, on how these parts work together to make the car go. At the beginning of the third lesson, the instructor smilingly and spitefully asked how many of the women had gone home and "stripped down" the family car. All was quiet until one woman raised her hand and said timidly, "You forgot to tell us how to open the bonnet"

[Edly 3]

1st year medical students were attending their

1st anatomy class. They all gathered around the

table and there was a real dead body on the

table.

Akpos, the professor started the class by telling

them two important qualities of a DOCTOR.

The 1st is that never be DISGUSTED about

anything in the body for example, he inserted his

FINGER in the deadbody’s ANUS and put the

finger in his own mouth and TASTED it.

Then he told the students to do what he did.

The students hesitated for several minutes, but

eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the

body’s ANUS and tasted it.

When everyone finished tasting their fingers, they

were all Frowning… Then Professor Akpos

looked at them and said:

The most important 2nd quality is Observation. I

inserted my MIDDLE finger but tasted the 2ND

finger….Now learn to pay attention!!

Hahahahaha!! ALL D students went crazy!!  :wacko:

[Twindle 0]

Let me enrich your souls with a short joke.

 

 

What happens when an elephant walks over a cliff?

 

 

He falls!!! hahaheheeeee..........

 

 

 

 

Bestest joke ever. Awesome stand-up commedy material.

[ninjatrickster 1]

Bestest

 

:snorlax:

[Edly 3]

Let me enrich your souls with a short joke.

 

 

What happens when an elephant walks over a cliff?

 

 

He falls!!! hahaheheeeee..........

 

 

 

 

Bestest joke ever. Awesome stand-up commedy material.

 

What happens when Twindle is bored

 

 

He laughs alone!!! Hahahaheeee....

 

 

:wacko:

 

[Edly 3]

Twindle Twindle little boy how i wonder what noob you are

 

 

(Noffense bro, :) just a joke, dont take it personal[Plsss])

[Dazz 2]

And what about the chicken that had not one leg. Went scratching the ground and fell...

 

Bwahahahahahahahahaha  :rofl:

.

..

...

Why are you not laughing?

[Edly 3]

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish u had a club and a spade

[Edly 3]

Neil Armstrong was the first human being on the moon.

Neil A. backwards is Alien.

Mind f*cked.

[Edly 3]

A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with a whale for a daughter: The Directors of Spongebob were obviously high

[Edly 3]

There were 3 girls on a island. they are blond, brunette

and a black haired. After 3 weeks of starvation a magician came and saod

"Go home already. i will give you 1 wish each. use it

wisley.

the brunette says "i want to go home!" and poof she

goes home.

the black says "i want to go home!" and poof she goes

home.

the the blonde says "i want my friends back!"

[Dazz 2]

Do you want girls hitting up on you?Start living on the underground of a motel.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Get it?

That was sad anyway...

I need a girlfriend :(

[Edly 3]

I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit. A minute later, some guy did exactly the same thing. I said to him, "I just did that." So, he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.

[Edly 3]

Why can't a blonde dial 911... Because She can't find the 11

[Ladygi 33]

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish u had a club and a spade

 

Truth is not something to joke about ;D

[Dazz 2]

Truth is not something to joke about ;D

 

Truth is a joke and life is a comedic tragedy.

[Edly 3]

Truth is not something to joke about ;D

 

"Truth is a joke and life is a comedic tragedy."

 

:spiteful:

[Deltaman 4]

Why are elves dumb?

 

 

Because they are dumb.

 

 

Got it, eh? ;D

 

 

 

 

[Edly 3]

Why are elves dumb?

 

 

Because they are dumb.

 

 

Got it, eh? ;D

 

Lol

[Mecha 118]

I work with some STRANGE ppl... wutdafack?

http://youtu.be/wGbm4rh2A6E

[Dark_Oblivion666 1]

3 people walking down the street called duck, Shit & Manners,

 

 

Whilst walking Shit fell over and Manners went to help him up

 

 

duck carried on walking and bumped into the policeman and he said: "What is your first name?" He replied: duck, "Second name?" He replied Off, duck Off,

 

 

Policeman says,"where's your manners"

 

 

duck says Half way down the road picking up shit  :lol:

 

 

Thank you, thank you  :)

[Mecha 118]

[Edly 3]

Dad: Say daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: Come on, say daddy!

Baby: Mommy!

Dad: F*ck you, say daddy!

Baby: F*ck you, Mommy!

Mom: Honey, I'm home!

Baby: F*ck you!

Mom: Who taught you that?

Baby: Daddy!

Dad: Son of a b*tch

[Mecha 118]